It appears that you are NOT on the Coyote’s Den website.  If you are using a proxy or an archive this is probably what you want so just continue although some functions and formatting may be inoperative.

To escape porn hijackers COPY the real URL into your browser address bar.
Sorry, not clickable.

The following story is fiction.  It contain scenes of humiliation, spankings, parental abuse, castration and non-consensual activities in a femdom environment and with gay sex.  If such subjects are offensive, uninteresting or if you are a minor (i.e., child) please leave now.  The story is presented as an attachment in the first of a series communications with an editor.

This story is for Tommy who told me of some similar horrors he was forced to endure until he was well into college.  Another story about Tommy is The Designated Freshman.

This work is copyright by the author and commercial use is prohibited without permission.  Personal/private copies are permitted only if complete including the copyright notice.

The author would appreciate your comments – pro and con, including constructive criticism, and suggestions.

Living in Hell



To: Ms. Sabrina Kenworth, Editor of Women's Press
From: Jenny Kanine
Subject: Tommy's Manuscript

My Dear Sabrina,

As we have discussed I have amalgamated parts of the journal of Thomas Cook, my dear step-son, into a coherent narrative.  I was really surprised at how well he wrote and how he respected the superiority of the his betters.  As you would expect there was a lot of repetition over the almost five year period covered in the journal.  I have, of course, eliminated all of that as well as cleaning up the spelling and grammar errors.

It is a shame that he was taken from us on our trip in Tijuana.  The authorities say that kidnapped boys like him are never found.  The demand for white, blue-eyed, golden haired boys is so great that they disappear quickly.  Yes, occasionally (years later) one is found wandering in some distant port where they are just prey to violent human monsters but so damaged that if they were animals they would be destroyed.  The ones that eventually talk claim to miss their previous lives of horror.© YLeeCoyote

Occasionally, I have interjected some comments into the boy's narrative to explain things that he did not understand.  He changed the title several times, but I've kept his last one.

Most sororally yours,


Extracts from the Journal of Thomas Cook
Edited by Jenny Kanine

** Age 8 **  Like Father, Like Son.

I'm Boy to my family.  In school my teachers call me Tom and my classmates, Tommy.  Only my real mother, she is with the angels, called me Thomas.  She died a long time ago when I was really a little boy.  I don't remember very much about mommy Laverne but she was beautiful and we loved each other.  After that dad got another mother for us.  She is very strict and makes both dad and me do just what she says.  If we don't do what she says right away she spanks us.  Yes, she even spanks daddy.  I saw it for the first time last week.  I had gotten up to pee-pee in the middle of the night.  Mommy was yelling at daddy just like she yells at me.  "Sandy, since you act like a little boy, I going to spank you like a little boy.  Now get over here."

"Please, I won't do it again.  Promise." said daddy.  He sounded just like I do when mommy is yelling at me.

I went to the top of the stairs and I could see mommy and daddy in the mirror.  I lay on the floor so that they could not see me.  Mommy reached for daddy's belt and opened it.  Then she opened his pants and pulled them down.  Then she pulled down his underpants.  I could see daddy's pee-pee hanging from a lot of hair.  I don't have any hair there.  Daddy's pee-pee was so big that when mommy grabbed it, it stuck out on both sides of her hand.  It was so long that mommy could have put both hands next to each other to hold it.  My pee-pee is much smaller – even smaller than my little finger.  She pulled daddy over her lap and picked up her hairbrush.


Daddy was crying and promising just I do when she spanks me.  I did not see his bottom but it was probably very red, just like my gets.  "You stand in the corner and think about being a good boy, Sandy."  Daddy got up and headed for the corner and I heard the TV come on.  Then I went to the bathroom and back to bed.© YLeeCoyote

I never made it back to bed though.  Mommy came upstairs to use the bathroom and saw me going back to bed.  "I had to pee-pee, mother." I said, hoping that she would not yell at me for being out of bed past my bedtime.

I was just getting back into bed, when mommy yelled for me.  I ran back to the bathroom.  She was pointing at the toilet.  "You did not flush, again, naughty boy."  I could see the yellow water.  She took my hand and led me back to the bedroom and sat on my bed.  I was pulled across her lap and she spanked me hard (as always) with her hand.  In just a minute I was crying but she continued spanking.  I was bawling when she stopped and put me back in bed.  I cried for a very long time just like daddy.

I had trouble sitting in school the next day.  When I got home and undressed my bottom was still red and sensitive.  Mommy says that clothes are very expensive and I'm not allow to wear them in the house most of the time and only during the winter in the yard.  Mommy says that little boys have nothing to hide and this way I'm always ready for a spanking.

Mommy thinks that's important because I'm always getting into trouble.  Spanking trouble.  She does not like the bother of having to pull down my shorts.

She does not even let me get dressed when people visit.  It not so bad when it just grownups but the little girls always stare at me.  Mommy says that I should not care and makes me stand still while they look and touch me.  A lot of them like to watch me pee-pee.

Daddy always tell me that I must listen to mommy just like he does.

** Age 8 **  Wishes

I was missing my real mommy a lot today.  Daddy tried to make me feel better and read to me from my favorite book – Peter Pan.  Daddy does it very nicely but it's not like when my real mommy read it to me so long ago.  I wish that mommy Laverne was still here and that I was Peter Pan.  How nice it must be to sail and fight with pirates.

** Age 9 **  Daddy Gets Fixed

This year daddy been very sick and been going to the doctor a lot.  The medicines that he's been taken made him tried and even made his hair fall out so that he is as smooth on top as my little bottom is.  One day, daddy went to a different doctor.  The one that mommy works for.  I don't know what kind of doctor is but the cards say: "Urology".  Mommy say that she is going to work with the doctor and fix daddy real good.  Mommy also says a lot of men need to be fixed and if they were the world be a nicer, more peaceful place.

Because mommy is so busy helping and caring for daddy, cousin Barbara came to stay for a few days.  Mommy said that I must do what cousin Barbara tells me just like I must listen to her.  Cousin Barbara is almost a grown up for she thirteen; that's already a teenager.  Mommy made me get across cousin Barbara's lap like I was going to get spanked.  "See how nicely he fits on your lap, Barbara.  If he gives any trouble at all, just spank him hard."

"Yes, aunt Shirley, I surely will." and she slapped my bottom a few times.

Cousin Barbara also gave me my bath.  It was pretty much like mommy doing it but she rubbed harder.  She was very rough when she washed my pee-pee.  She even stuck her finger into my bottom hole to make sure that it was clean.

I had to sleep on the floor in a sleeping bag because she slept in my bed.

After mommy fixed daddy, he was OK.  He got his hair back and we played a lot.

** Age 10 **  Like Father, Like Son; Reprise

One day daddy and me went to play in the park.  We were having so much fun playing ball that we forgot to go home on time.  Mommy was very, very mad.  She yelled at us both for a long time.  She said that we were two naughty little boys and were going to be spanked.  All daddy said was "Yes, ma'am." and I said "Yes, mommy".  Then right there with aunt Shirley and cousins Barbara and Ruth Ann, both daddy and I got spanked.

Usually by the time I'm in the house this long I've gotten undressed already but since mommy was yelling at me I could not do that.  Aunt Shirley said that she would take care of the cooking so as mommy undressed daddy right there in front of everyone, Barbara and Ruth Ann undressed me.  Mommy pulled daddy across her lap and using the big wooden spoon that she cooks with spanked daddy.  Daddy's bottom turned red just like mine does and he was crying just like I do.  When mommy led daddy to the corner, I got to see his pee-pee.  There was less hair about it like the last time I saw it and it was smaller.  Actually, I did not see daddy's pee-pee this time because mommy was using it to lead daddy and did not stick out like it did the first time I saw it.

Cousin Barbara did not wait for mommy to spank me or to tell her do it.  She just pulled me across her lap and held me in place.  She just used her hand and spanked real hard.  I was soon crying and my bottom was flaming hot.  Ruth Ann thought that she should help.  She picked up the flyswatter and started to use it on me.  It really hurt a lot!  It was as big as mommy's hand and wrapped around my cheeks even more.  I really bawled.  Barbara put me in the corner.

When we had dinner, I was, as always, naked but so was daddy.  Mommy said: "Naughty little boys who are spanked don't need any clothes."  Aunt Shirley added that it was not proper for little boys to show their pubes to young ladies and that it was time for Barbara to learn how to shave a boy.  Mommy said she was absolutely right.  She told me to watch TV and took daddy to the bathroom.

I heard him ask "Please don't, dear." but she told him to be quiet.  A little latter, they came back and daddy did not have any hair by his pee-pee, on his chest or under his arms.  He was very quiet.  Barbara and Ruth Ann were both very happy and said that was a lot of fun.

** Age 10 **  Tragedy and Changes

The second most terrible thing happened today.  Daddy and aunt Shirley were killed by hit and run driver while walking on the sidewalk downtown.  Everyone cried a lot.  There was not very much money because there was no insurance.  Now mommy has look after Barbara, Ruth Ann and me.  The house is very small.  Barbara and Ruth Ann got what was my room and my bed was put into the big storage closet with the door removed.

Mommy has to work very hard to support us and I was constantly in the charge of my cousins.  They had full authority over me, even the flyswatter loving Ruth Ann who was a year younger, and were around all the time.

They were there only a few days and Ruth Ann told me to do something but I refused because I was playing.  Well she told mommy and I got a big spanking.  Mommy was very annoyed that I did not do what she had told me to.  She kept spanking even after I was bawling and then I had to stay in the corner for a long time.

I had to apologize to Ruth Ann for not obeying her and then ask her to spank me.  Ruth Ann was a big girl even then and bigger than me.  She took me across her lap for the first time with mommy and Barbara watching.  My little pee-pee was between her legs and she held it tight.  With her left hand about my waist she started to spank my still red sore bottom.  She hit hard – not as hard as mommy – but it hurt.  She made me cry.  A little girl younger than me and she made me cry.  It was even worse than when mommy spanks me because mommy is a grownup.  I even was bawling again.

Ruth Ann held me until I stopped crying all the time telling that she would spank me harder and longer every time I misbehaved.  Then she said that she would give me my bath and put me to bed.  It was only five o'clock and we did not have supper yet.  She led me to the bathtub and filled it with cold water and scrubbed me very hard with the rough washcloth.  I begged her to be gentle but she told me to be quiet before the soap got into my eyes and mouth.  I just suffered in silence as she punished me.  After the bath she made me go pee-pee while she watched and said she would put me in a diaper if I didn't make.  I'm going to try very hard to do what Ruth Ann says because she really punishes me.

After school started there was a whole new set of embarrassments.  Both Barbara and Ruth Ann would bring their friends and classmates to visit.  They all inspected me and watched how my cousins spanked me.  They always found reasons to spank me.  Sometime they even had boys over.  Barbara's boy friends did not really care about me generally provided that I stayed away from them.  I don't know what happened but Barbara got upset with me when Chuck was here.  She was going to spank me, but he said he would do it.  He was a big guy like dad was so he could pick me up with just one hand.  Once he had me over his lap he held me in place so that I could not move and spanked me very, very hard.  I was bawling after just a few SPANKS.  I'm going to hide when Barbara's boy friends are around.

Ruth Ann's friends, both the boys as well as the girls, like watching and helping Ruth Ann making me do tricks like a dog.  The boys said that my pee-pee was very small – smaller than they had; even smaller than their little brothers'.  Then after a few months there was a change – it got worse.  Ruth Ann made friends with some of my classmates and they also saw me naked and doing tricks.  Everyone in the class was always laughing at me.  Some of them said that I did not need clothes in class because everyone had seen me naked.

** Age 10 **  Economics in the Fifth Grade.

Mommy figured out two more ways to save money.  First mommy got an electric hair clipper and started to give me a crew cut every week.  She did not do it very well and not only was I laughed at for having a crew cut but a bad one at that.

She also made me wear Ruth Ann's hand-me-downs.  Fortunately not the dresses and skirts but it was almost as bad.  Ruth Ann had some plain white dress shirts that looked like mine and mommy said that they had lots of wear left in them.  They looked OK and I did not object to them.  I found out in class that they were not the same.  Girls' shirts button right over left while boys' shirts left over right and someone in the class knew that and saw the difference.  I was laughed at for wearing a girls' shirt.  The same thing happened with some of Ruth Ann's jeans. She had both boys' and girls' types.  You can guess what happened with the girls types.

I was only allowed to wear jeans when it was very cold.  Mommy said that little boys wore shorts – short shorts.  It was good for little boys' legs to be uncovered she explained.  She got the kind with an elastic waist and without a fly so I had to pull them down to pee-pee.

I was very afraid that the guys would also find out about Ruth Ann's panties.  Mommy said they fit just fine and that I did not need a fly but could pull them down when I had to pee-pee.  It was a disaster the very first day.  It was very cold and I was wearing girls' jeans.  I had opened my belt and zipper and lifted my pee-pee over the lowered waist band of the panties when some of the other guys came into the toilet.  They saw what I was doing and Paul started making nasty remarks.  "The sissy boy can not find his little pee-pee to take it out through his fly."  As they all laughed he reached over and snapped the waist band of the panties.  "Hey, these baby blue things are panties; GIRLS' PANTIES."  Then he yanked down my jeans and panties.  Everyone laughed hysterically  at me.  Now they could see the label in the jeans showing that they were girls'.  They called me a sissy for wearing girls' panties and jeans.  I still had to pee but they did not let me.  Instead they pushed me out the door and across the hall to the girls' toilet.  Of course, my pee-pee was sticking out as the jeans and panties were both pulled down.

There were some girls in there and they grabbed me so I was now under control of some girls instead of some boys.  Before anything else could happen, Ruth Ann walks in.  I heard Paul tell her "Your 'sister' is in the girls' room and wants to pee."  She's embarrassed that I'm in the wrong room and does not care that it not my fault.

"You have to pee-pee?" she asked.

"Yes, Ruth Ann." I answer.  I get into trouble if I'm not respectful and polite to her.

The end toilet is missing the stall walls.  Ruth Ann leads me there by the ear and orders me to pee-pee with all the other girls watching.  A couple of them want to aim and hold my pee-pee.  It takes me quite a while.  When I'm done she sit on the bench, pulls me over her lap and spanks me.  There are at least a dozen girls there – several from my class.  She tell me that I better not be caught in the girls' room again.  I run out crying.  The boys are there making the 'shame, shame' sign with their fingers, yelling "crybaby" and laughing at me.

Ruth Ann thanks Paul for his help. (What help??)  "He such a naughty baby and needs watching all the time." Then she sighed and adds: "I have to spank him almost every day."

"Glad to be able to help."  With that he slaps my ass hard and orders: "Back to class, little girl or daddy will have to spanky-spanky."

Soon everyone in fourth and fifth grades knows that my little sister spanked me without even a single word of protest from me.  Nobody even wants to talk to me anymore.

** Age 11 **  Water Sports

It was a worse than usual day today – we went to the lake.  Both Barbara and Ruth Ann brought a girl friend along.  Barbara's friend also brought Bill, her twelve-year-old brother.  I though that I might have fun with him while the girls played with each other.  Things did not get off to a good start.  I did not have a bathing suit and had to play in my underwear.  Worse was that it was hand-me-down of plain white cotton.  From a distance it look sort of like the Speedo's that Bill wore but when it got wet it became transparent and it was like I was naked.  All the girls had two-piece suits, even Ruth Ann who is as flat as I am.  Mommy had gone to lady's room and we were all talking on blanket waiting the hour after lunch before we were allowed to go back into the water.  Bill asked why I was wearing girls' panties.  Everyone laughed and I did not know what to say.  Barbara said that I had nothing to hide so it did not matter what I wore.  Everyone kept laughing.  Then Bill said that he had lots to hide and his sister giggled.  Everyone could see that there was a big bulge in his suit.  "I even have a big bush." he boasted.  Then he got up on his knees and pulled down the front of his suit to prove it.  Not only did he have a big bush but a big pee-pee.  No one laughed at him.

Ruth Ann told me to show what I had.  I begged not to but she said if I didn't she would take the panties back right now leaving me naked for the rest of the day.  So I got on my knees and pulled the front down and back very fast.  "No, no; all the way!" said Barbara and she yanked then down completely so everyone could see that I did not have even a single hair by my little pee-pee.  Then I was allowed to pull them back up.  I looked like I had a sunburn all over.

Later in the afternoon, the girls did not want to swim any more but Bill and I stayed in the water.  He threw me around like daddy did when I was little.  When he accidentally pulled off my panties, he just helped me put them back on.  I decided then that Bill is really nice.

At he end of the day, mommy went to the rented locker to change out of her bathing suit and when she came back, the girls went.  While mommy was packing up, she called Bill and me out of water.  As the girls came back mommy said to hurry and change.  Then Barbara handed mommy some money and said that she returned the key and got the deposit back.  Bill was almost finished drying himself off by then and Barbara apologized to him for returning the key.

Bill just laughed and pulled down his wet suit and continued to dry himself.  "No problem, Barbara.  I'll just give all you girls a thrill; a big thrill."  He was laughing as he put on his shorts.

I was still dripping wet, in my wet panties, with the towel in my hand.  Mommy took the towel and started to dry me.  I objected and said that I could do it myself.  She said: "If you could, boy, you would be dressed like Bill is already; one more word and I'll spank you."  She just pulled off my wet panties and continued to dry me.  The girls and even Bill giggled at me.

I said "Please, mommy, …."

"I warned you, boy."  She sat down on the ice chest and pulled me over her lap and spanked me hard.  I was soon crying.  I'm sure everyone on the beach was watching.

Then she put my wet panties and the wet towel into the wet-stuff-bag.  My shorts were missing.  I was left naked with tears on my face and a hot, red behind.  Ruth Ann and her friend each took one of my hands and lead me.  As we walked back to the car we passed zillions of people on the beach, at the food stand, by the restaurant and in the parking lot.  They all could see my tears, my little pee-pee and just spanked red hot behind.  Barbara and her friend did not want to be seen with me so they went ahead.  Mommy and Bill walked behind but not very close.

At the car, Bill grabbed the sun tan lotion and spread a batch on my hot bottom saying that it would be soothing.  He even tickled my asshole.  When we were getting into the car he said I should sit on his lap so that I did not stain the seat with the oily stuff.  That surely would save me a spanking.  Ruth Ann and her friend sat in front with mommy and I was on Bill's lap between Barbara and his sister.  Bill told them that I had a cute red butt and that it was making him hard and he wanted to fuck me.  Barbara leaned over and whispered that he could and to come around while mommy was at work.  I could feel his pee-pee through his thin shorts as Bill moved me around on his lap and it was very hard.  The same big muscles that let Bill throw me around let him keep me just where he wanted me.  He shifted me a couple of times and also managed to get his fly open because I was feeling his cock pressing up between my legs.  It was like sitting on one of the iron pipes of the monkey bars for it was so hard.  He had also gotten my legs on the outside of his so that he could keep them apart.

As the car bounced down the dirt road he kept moving me around and I felt the end of his cock at my hole.  Then it started to go in.  With every bounce it went deeper and soon it was all in me since he could not pull me any closer.

Mommy asked us where we wanted to go for dinner.  The vote was three-three so Ruth Ann suggested that only those with pants could vote.  I started to protest but Bill slipped his hand over my mouth and said that was a great idea.  It was probably good that he did that because I probably would have been spanked for talking up.  Since Ruth Ann and Bill were for BigMac and I was for the Whopper, I was sure that I would be having a BigMac.  Mommy was just about to say that when Bill said that when there is an invalid vote, the whole vote needs to be redone.  Mommy called the roll again and Bill changed his vote to BK.  "Us guys have to stick together." he whispered into my ear.  That was really funny because his cock was up my butt and how much closer together sticking together can there be.

I thought mommy would go for the drive-thru but she parked meaning that we should go inside.  This time I did protest but mommy said it was my own fault for losing my shorts.  Bill pulled off his long t-shirt and put it on me.  It was really not long enough but it covered most of me although my pee-pee and much of my red bottom showed.  Bill told me to act like I was eight and he was my big protective brother.  He took my hand and lead the way inside.  I was embarrassed and some little kids stared and there were a lot of whispered comments but not as terrible as I feared.  Bill really had been thinking ahead because by going first we got through the cashier first so we could pick the table.  He got me the window seat and then sat by me so that while we were eating I was covered by the table and protected from my cousins.  When we left he put his arm about my shoulder and held me close.  I felt good being protected like that.

I'm sure that Ruth Ann was very mad at him because she would have liked me to be totally naked and laughed at.  As we left I heard some dad tell his older son: "See how a big brother is protective and caring.  That's the way you should be."

Back in the car, I just got on Bill lap and let him hold me.  It really felt nice.

Ed note: As we walked back to the car Bill and I talked.  I told him that I'll have to watch him near my nieces.  He was quite the mature young gentleman.  "Have no fear Mrs. Kanine.  Ruth Ann is not ready yet and I'll ask your permission first.  Barbara won't look at anyone who is not at least a teen.  But doesn't Thomas have a beautiful red sexy butt that is ready for it."  I had to agree with that but did not expect that he would do it particularly in the car.

** Age 11 **  Cherry Pickin'

The next day Bill and his sister came over and I learnt what fucking was.  Bill told the girls that they could watch him take my cherry.  I was already naked when they got there and then Bill stripped.  He did not mind being naked and the girls all admired his body.  His pee-pee was hard and sticking up from his big nest of hair.

Bill said that he wanted a blow job first.  I did not know what that was and he said that was to suck his cock.  He pushed me to my knees and shoved his cock in my face and said to suck and lick it and that he did not want to feel any teeth.  I was a little scared that he would hit me because he was talking so tough.  Yesterday, I could feel how strong he was when he held me on his lap in the car, so I did the best I could.  After a while he grabbed me by the ears and pulled me back and forth.  Then he gave a yell and he filled my mouth with something but it was not pee.  He boasted that he cummed in my mouth and I swallowed it.

Then he made me kneel on the floor with my face down and my bottom up like my cousins do when they want to whip me.  He put some petroleum jelly on my hole and played with it for a while shoving his fingers into me.  It was sort of like when my cousins bathed me but he used several fingers.  The girls were counting as they watched.  Then he held me by the waist and pushed his hard cock into me.  It did not hurt after his fingers had opened my hole.  Then he thrust in and out.  It felt good as he pushed around inside of me.  My pee-pee got hard.  Then he gave another yell and said he shot a big load into my boy-cunt.  The girls applauded and congratulated him on taking my cherry.  I still don't understand since I did not give him anything but he gave me something.  It was more fun than when he had done it in the car.

He went into the bathroom and washed his cock.  When he came back he offered to fuck the girls but they all refused.  He got dressed.  Then the girls made me go potty and I saw that some strange stuff came out.  Then they gave me a bath so that I would not make a mess with the grease still on me.  Bill watched then do that with a very big smile on his face.  He even pee-peed while they bathed me not caring that they watched.

He then told them not to tell or let any other guy do that to me because I was his.  He said "I'll  beat up anyone else who does it and deny that I had.  Also, that Ruth Ann is just jealous that I fucked Barbara and since she's too young and flat chested."

I hope he does it again like he said.

Ed note: Later entries indicate that he did at least once a week for the next year.

** Age 11 **  First the Lab, Then the Lecture.

It was a few weeks after Bill took my cheery that I started to learn about sex in school.  I'm really puzzled by a couple of things.  First, when will I get to puberty and get hair and my penis grow big, like Bill's and daddy's was before mommy fixed him?  Second, am I homosexual?  I like it when he fucks me and I feel good when I think about him.  I don't think about girls but is that because I have not gotten to puberty or because I'm gay?

Barbara has been telling me that she wants to 'fix' me like mommy fixed daddy for a couple of years.  I never thought that I was broken so why should she want to fix me.  In sex education they talked about what 'fixing' dogs and cats was about.  It sounds real horrid that they cut off their balls.  But the teacher explained that this make the animal more gentle and prevents unwanted puppies and kittens.  It better than having to kill those little cute things.  The teacher also said that they don't do that to people unless the testicles are diseased like with cancer.

I asked mommy why she had to fix daddy and she said he had testicular cancer.  Since chemotherapy did not work, she explained, they had to do it the other way.  Daddy was doing very well and would be alive today if not for that terrible accident.  The only thing was that he couldn't have any more children but he had you (meaning me) and was very happy.

** Age 12 **  Wishes that Don't Come True

I asked mom about why I have not reached puberty like all the other guys in my class.  In the shower after gym, I saw that everyone but me has pubic hair.  Mom felt my penis and testicles and said that they felt OK but took me to the doctor she works for some tests.  A few days later she said the doctor had ordered that I get a special injection every two weeks to make me grow.  She gave me the first injection right there.  Barbara and even Ruth Ann wanted to help and she let them wipe me with the alcohol pads to prevent infection and to hold me so I would not get hurt moving because it was a painful injection deep in the muscle.

I'm so glad that I asked.

** Age 12 **  Wishes that Do Come True

It has been almost year of the bi-weekly injections to make me grow up.  Not only did I not start puberty, but I have not even grown in height.  I'm the smallest kid in school and everyone picks one me.  It certainly does not help that I have to wear Ruth Ann's hand-me-downs particularly in gym.  One of the favorite jokes is that I wear panties rather briefs with a fly because my pee-pee is so small that it wouldn't stick out far enough to pee without getting my pants wet.

I asked mom about it again.  She examined me and said my balls were just about to drop and it was time for a special injection which she would do on Friday.  Mommy had asked Bill to be there to help.  It was necessary that my bottom be filled and she thought that I would like Bill to do that rather than use a dildo.  After dinner she got the stuff and had me sit on Bill's lap.  Yes, that was fun because his big hard cock was up my butt.  Barbara and Ruth Ann held my legs far apart and Bill had me in a bear hug.  Then mom did the injections – one into each ball.  It hardly hurt at all and mom said she was proud of her little boy for being so good.  All four of them gave my balls a gentle squeeze and said that I was their little boy.  The girls added that they wished I would be forever.  Bill said he was looking forward to my prick becoming a real cock so that he could play with it.

Barbara was especially nice and glad that she could help mom fixing me.  They all laughed.  I laughed too because I though she was just kidding me.  Mom broke the needle and gathered everything up while Bill put me on the floor and fucked me until he came.  When I took the stuff to the garbage I saw that she had injected me with something called Neutersol.  I have no idea what that is.

Mother checked me every day for a week to make sure that my balls were OK.  They were not swollen nor tender which was good.  But they got very small and soon I could hardly feel them.  I asked mom about this.  She said: "I fixed you so that you would be my little boy – forever.  Little boys have little balls and little pee-pees and yours will always be tenny-tiny.  You'll never have to shave or worry about cancer like your daddy had.  Your voice will stay sweet like it is and your body nice and smooth.  You wished that you were Peter Pan so many times.  Well, my little boy, your wish will happen for, just like Peter Pan, you'll never grow up."

I cried a lot for a few days.  Mommy got me some new clothes that she said was just right for a little boy.  My new shorts have a real zipper fly and a belt.  My new briefs have superman on them.

** Age 12 **  Tragedy Once Again

Mommy said that we would go to Mexico for a few days and have fun on the beaches.  I'm looking forward to that trip next month.

Ed note: Unfortunately Tommy's journal end here.  While we were driving south we stopped in Tijuana for the night and he was kidnapped.  The authorities said there was no hope.  Now after seven years we never expect to even find his bones.  May he be with his dear mother, Laverne, in that other world.


To: Ms. Sabrina Kenworth, Editor of Women's Press
From: Molly Shamus, Hush Hush Investigators, Inc.
Subject: Tommy Cook

Not to be used other than as per contract.

We have investigated what might have happened to Tommy Cook starting in Tijuana some seven years ago.  The only positive identification possible is the subject's right thumb print to compare with the print left by his inky finger on his journal.

There were three possibilities.
1 – It was just a random, local crime.  In this case there would not be anything to find particularly at this late date.  It is most likely that the subject was mistreated by the kidnapper or operator of a pedo-brothel and is now deceased and the body disposed of.
2 – It was a crime by a dealer.  This is unlikely but a distinct possibility.  The result would be the same as either #1 or #3.
3 – The boy was sold to a dealer in boys.  Tracing the subject was conceivably possible.

Our agents were able to uncover the major agent for such a dealer in that area and time, who since he has since retired and as the time for prosecution has passed was willing (for a fee) to discuss the matter.  The subject was indeed sold by a woman using the name June Kleaver to this agent.  The incident was memorable not just because of the fine condition and risky modifications that had been made to the subject but for his attitude.  The subject had been chemically castrated just before puberty so that there was no trace.  The subject had also been treated with an anti-growth chemical for a year so that he was not going to grow even another millimeter.  He was healthy, unmarked, with good teeth, fair of skin, blue eyes, blond hair, docile and intelligent.  In short, the subject was an extremely valuable property; worth far more than the woman realized.  He was quickly re-sold to a middle east dealer.

The subject was unusual during the time the agent had him.  Here is his first person report.

He never was any trouble and totally accepted his fate.  He was in the room watching when I paid the woman.  The woman told him to go with me and to be a good boy.  He just said: "Yes, mommy."  His very first question when I took him away was: "Did she get a good price for me?"  He laughed when I told him no.  He said that he expected that he was going to be sold after his stepmother fixed him as she had fixed his father.  He asked about where he was going and hoped that it would be nicer than with his step-mom and step-sisters (cousins).  He looked forward to the sea voyage and asked if he would be able to steer the ship.  He was the only boy I had ever had who wanted a new name (which he would have gotten anyway) – Peter Pan since he would never grow up.

His only regret was that he did not have the picture of him with his real parents which was in his journal hidden in the attic back home.  I got him a blank book for which he was very thankful.  I read his first entry.

They were always mean and cruel to me.  They treated me worse than a bad dog.  In addition she stop my growing, then she fixed me and yesterday she sold me.  I'm going to start a new life.

I've been reborn.  I've picked a new name – PETER PAN!  I'm going to be a boy forever.

Within the great expanses of the hot sands, he changed hands a couple of times to become the became the property of an oil rich sheik with a large harem and lot of children.  He is the living boy-toy of the children.  He is very shy, even fearful, of the girls but still totally obedient.  He likes to play the "naughty boy" in their games and be spanked.  The boys find him an easy mark for their rough and tumble games for he is easily beaten by even nine-year-olds.  He is also used sexually by the boys and really seems to enjoy it.

The subject is not for sale as the sheik is very happy that he is such a good toy for his children.  For this reason he is treated very well proven by the fact that he lives with the children sharing their food, housing and games with the same medical care and schooling.

If we can be of any further assistance, please don't hesitate to call on our firm.


To: Ms. Sabrina Kenworth, Editor of Women's Press
From: Jenny Kanine
Subject: Tommy's Manuscript

My Dear Sabrina,

Certainly you may have the original manuscript.  I've sent it to you by express post.



To: Ms. Molly Shamus, Hush Hush Investigators
From:  Sabrina Kenworth, Editor of Women's Press
Subject: Peter Pan

Here is the photograph that Peter wishes for.  It was, just as he said, hidden in his first journal.  He is welcome to that also, but it is full of horrors and demons.



Dear Ms. Sabrina Kenworth,

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sending me the photograph.  It the one and only thing that I treasure from my previous life.

I've put it into my journal of these much happier times.

Thank you for adding joy to my heart.

Peter Pan

The End

© Copyright A.I.L., April 10, 2001

Your comments are appreciated.     Different Stories     Main Directory

The URL for this page is:

Last updated:  September 15, 2023